Young Adult Ministry And The Intergenerational Topic

This topic has come some up several times this week already. Thought it would be good to blog about. Hopefully I can express my thoughts well on the fly.

Should single young adults in their twenties be singled out and have targeted discipleship groups specifically for them? Or should they suck it up and join an inter generational small group? Here's my thoughts and what several peer friends have expressed.

First, if a church has a pastor specifically for organizing and developing small/community/discipleship groups who target specific age groups/demographics, then why shouldn't they target the single twenty somethings? People have argued that young adults should start our own thing. Are other age groups/demographics incapable of developing their own groups and Bible studies? Why do they have to have a pastor developing groups for them? Twenty somethings also need help organizing a group and finding leaders.

Second, most of us twenty somethings don't mind being with people younger or older than us. When it comes to serving in the church, volunteering in the community, or praising God, it's not much of an issue being with people of a different generation. There's a great deal to be learned from those older than us in a mentoring situation. And we can help lead and mentor those who are younger than us. But when it comes to studying God's Word and sharing life struggles and passions, most of us like to do so among people closer to our age and life situations. People who have been married and held the same job since graduation have no idea how I feel and what I'm struggling with. People who have been married several times don't get where I'm at. Get the picture? The list could go on.

Third, it can be depressing mixing with people who have married, have a home, maybe a few kids, and are settled. Even if they are our age! Many of us single 18-35 year olds desire those attributes and if we're surrounded by them on a consistent basis, it gets depressing. It's like setting a cake in front of a person on a diet. One day they will be at their target weight and can enjoy a piece of cake. But until then, that cake is torture sitting inches away. Bitterness creeps in. That's what happens to many of us single young adults when surrounded by people who have reached the "goals" we desire.

And on a final note, single girls have expressed how uncomfortable it is to be around single guys much older than them. They feel like every guy is watching them and scoping out the options. This discomfort can be so great, if even only one older guy in a group acts a little creepy, that most girls will not return to a small/discipleship/community group no matter how awesome the discipleship or worship is. And honestly as a guy, it's a little creepy when someone my mom's age starts getting really friendly and acts flirty toward me.

There's a few thoughts on young adults and inter generational ministry. Hope they made sense. Feel free to make comments and put in your opinions. Would like to get some more feedback.